Nebraska jokes

The owner of a golf course in Hazard was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the University of Nebraska and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"

The secretary thought a moment, then replied, "Everything but my earrings."


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A group of Nebraska friends, hunting in Nebraska went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck. "Where's Henry?" the others asked.

"Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter replied.

"You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired.

"A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going to steal Henry!


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Regarding the year 2000, a senior at the University of Nebraska was overheard saying "when the end of the world comes, I hope to be in "Nebraska." When asked why, he stated that everything happens here 20 years later than the rest of the civilized world.


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The young Nebraskan came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Elmer, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!"

Elmer replied, "Did you see who it was?"

The young Nebraskan answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."


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NEWS FLASH! - Kearney, NE.----- Nebraska worst air disaster occurred when a small two-seater Cessna 150 plane, piloted by two local U of N college students, crashed into a cemetery earlier today in Kearney. Kearney Volunteer Fire Department search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect the number to climb as digging continues into the evening.

The pilot and copilot survived and are helping in the recovery efforts.