BLONDES AWAY!!!

Q: What do you call a dead blond in a closet?
A: The 1984 Hide and Seek World Champion.

Q: How does a blond kill a fish?
A: She drowns it.

Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
A: Run like hell, as she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.

Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.

Q: What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.

Q: Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for two hours?
A: Because it said 'concentrate'.

Q: Why did the blonde bake a chicken for three and a half days?
A: It said cook it for half an hour per pound and she weighed125 lbs.

Q: Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar?
A: She heard that the drinks were on the house.

Q: What's the difference between Elvis and smart blondes?
A: Elvis has been sighted.

Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.

Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
A: She kept throwing out all the "W"s.

Q: Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England?
A: She found out Big Ben is only a clock.

Q: How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's white-out on the screen.

Q: How can you tell if another blonde's been using the same computer?
A: There's writing on the white-out.

Q: How can you tell when a fax had been sent from a blonde?
A: There is a stamp on it,

Q: What did the blonde girl say when she found out she was pregnant?
A: I wonder if it's mine.

Q: What do you call 5-6 blondes standing in a circle?
A: A dope ring.

Scenario: Two blondes walking down the street. One says "Ooh! Look at that
dead bird..." and the other looks up and says "Where"...

You know you are dating a natural blonde if she likes your BMW because it is
easy to spell.

A Blonde Walked into a Beauty salon & asked for a hair cut But she was
wearing headphones. So the sylist asked her to take the headphones off but
she said, "No, I'll die." He said ok and kept on cutting. He asked two
more times and she said "No, I'll die." So he got fed up and ripped them off
and she instantly died. He picked up the headphones and put them to his ear
and heard this: "Breathe in, Breathe out.. Breathe in, Breathe out."

Two blondes were out hunting and got lost, they came across some tracks in
the dirt. One blonde says to the other "HEY! these are deer tracks, we can
follow them down to the lake and wait there and get rescued!" The other
blonde says "NO WAY! Those are bear tracks, if we follow those we will wind
up in the bear's cave and get eaten!!". They began to argue, Bear Track!
Deer Tracks BEAR TRACKS, DEER TRACKS!!! You know they were still arguing when the train hit them .....

My blonde friend is really tired of being called stupid, she decided to do
some studying. She studied every capital of every state in the United
States. It took her three weeks!! Afterwards, she wanted to go out and see
who she could impress. One fine looking man started to harass, she insisted
she was smarter now. "Go ahead, ask me any capital of any state!" "O.K.
what's the capital of Wyoming?"
"Ummmm, W!!!"

Q: Why can't blondes take coffee breaks?
A: Because their bosses would have to keep retraining them when they got back.