JOKES!!!

What's the worst thing about being an atheist? You don't have anybody to
talk to when you're having sex

Last night I accidentally took a sleeping pill and a No-Doze. I had a dream
that I couldn't get to sleep

Why did the Siamese twins move to England? So the other one could learn to
drive.
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One beautiful Easter morning Mr. Rooster awoke from his sleep to find his
wife Mrs. Hen surrounded by dozens of the most beautiful colored Easter
eggs you've ever seen! They were red, yellow, blue, green, practically
every color of the rainbow. So Mr. Rooster went out into the woods, and
beat the crap out of Mr. Peacock!
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A man was driving along the highway, and saw the Easter Bunny hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid the rabbit, but unfortunately the Easter rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit. The basket of eggs went flying all over the place and the candy too. The driver pulled over tothe side of the road, and got out to see what had become of the Easter bunny. Much to his dismay, the colorful rabbit was dead.

The driver felt so awful he began tocry. A woman driving down the highway saw the man crying on the side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of the car and aked the man what was wrong.

"I feel terrible!" he explained, "I accidentally hit the Easter Bunny and killed him. Kids will be so disappointed. What should I do?"

The woman told the man not to worry. She knew what to do. She went to her car trunk, and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the dead, limp rabbit and sprayed the contents of the can onto the furry animal. Miraculously the Easter rabbit came to life, jumped up, picked up his eggs and candy, waved his paw at the two humans and hopped down the road.

50 yards away the Easter rabbit stopped, turned around, waved and hopped down the road.

Another 50 yards down, he turned, waved and hopped another 50 yards. And waved again!

The man was astonished. He couldn't figure out what substance could be in the woman's spray can! He ran over to the woman and asked, "What was in your spray can? What did you spray on the Easter Bunny?"

The woman turned the can around so the man could read the label. It said: "Hair spray. Restores life to dead hair. Adds permanent wave."