YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF:

*Taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.
*You think that Dom Perignon is a mafia leader.
*You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen, start your engines."
*You have refused to watch the Academy Awards since "Smokey and The Bandit" was snubbed for Best Picture.
*You think God looks a lot like Hank Williams Jr., and heaven looks a lot like Daytona Beach.